Oregon Right to Life provides a forum for pro-life people to share their personal stories. We are a non-sectarian, non-partisan, single-issue organization.
This story was written and submitted by pro-life advocate Robyn McLean. See bio at the end of the article. To send in your own story, click the link and fill out the fields on the right side of the page.
Advisory: Description of rape, domestic violence, and suicidal thoughts.
Reader discretion is recommended.
I still remember it like yesterday, laying in a field, trapped in darkness, and curled into a ball. I was bracing myself from the blows of fiberglass rods. My abusive boyfriend was angry. As fearful as that night was, it wasn’t the first time. But, it was the first time my greatest concern wasn’t about getting hurt.
When I handed the engagement ring back months prior, he duct-taped my wrists and ankles and threatened to burn me with a metal spatula sizzling in water by my face. A different time, I voiced wanting to please God by not having sex, so he attacked, stripped, and raped me. He threatened that more pain would ensue if I refused sex in the future. He threatened to kill me and my family if I ever ran. The darker and more psychotic he got, the more I knew it could happen if my escape wasn’t foolproof.
People knew something was wrong, but conversations and relationships with those who meant well only felt like frustration, disappointment, and anger to me. I was also in a heavy, spiritual battle. Everything was stressful, and it felt like the only way out was suicide.
That night was different. Curled up, I was fighting for life with a new strength because it wasn’t just my life at stake anymore. I was 3.5 months pregnant with my innocent, precious baby boy. Instead of planning my suicide, I was planning his future.
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In a world that weaves a fearful narrative that babies are a threat to opportunity, career, or schedule changes…all I wanted was for my baby to survive. We just had to survive the night. Regardless of how my baby was conceived, I knew he was also a victim of the perpetrator and rape.
My ex pitched abortion. Sure, I might’ve avoided being the Christian college gossip, but trading my momentary pain for a deceptive “faux freedom” would’ve only imprisoned me, driven me to a deeper pain, and stolen one of the most valuable pieces of my life. Thank God we’re free today! I want women to know what they can do, who they can be, and who my God truly is. He brings true freedom and true redemption! It’s far better than anything this world tries to promise.
God is not a politician.
God is not faulty mankind.
He is the King of kings, the Lord of lords, and I am here today to tell you how much He loves YOU.
(Story continued below pictures)
To those who struggle with suicidal thoughts, I want to tell you right now, that is a lie from the pit of hell. You may feel like you are in hell already and that it doesn’t matter. I’m standing here on the other side of it… your life is worth more than that outcome and God’s love for you is real and greater than you realize in this temporary moment. Hold on. We are here for you too.
Pro-life friends, how can you value others today? How can you see others today? Not just the ones who are hurting, lonely, and sweet. But, the raging feminist? The apathetic jerk?
…the raging feminist, she was physically abused by her dad and raped by her uncle. She had power taken from her in all forms, and when she was in church because someone said God was the answer, she was molested by a church leader and deemed a trouble girl by everyone else.
Take the time to be present for people. Treat a girl to lunch, ask her about her life. Do it again. Love her.
…the apathetic jerk, he was beaten at age 8 by a drunk dad. The only attention he got in the face of his absent, drug-addicted mom was an uncle hitting up prostitutes. He visited church as a teen, but the youth group shunned him and the church staff didn’t give the time of day. He left, heart of stone, made bad friends, got a girl pregnant, said to abort, and then abandoned her.
Take the time to be available for people. Take a guy on a hike, share about fatherhood. Follow up. Love him.
READ: We ‘Have a Right to Life’: Teen Born With Three Heart Defects Testifies on Behalf of the Unborn
Somehow we’ve confused love in action as the endorsing of someone’s beliefs. While I will always value and propel pro-life policies…and hope for people to vote accordingly…I will always pinpoint the areas that give the true, groundwork results: us.
They might be yelling terrible things, but many are really crying out, “Where were you when I was in pain and I needed you? Where were you when I needed help?”
The pro-life message IS loving, seeing, and valuing people. And, Christians, when we are called to love people with an even-greater love…is that truly being reflected from our lives and into theirs?
Love,
Robyn, A Pastor’s Kid
~Robyn McLean is a wife to Josh and mother to two adorable kids. She is the founder of Stirring Embers, a movement of women coming together to enrich each other in their God-given gifts and unique design. Robyn is the owner of Brewed GRIT, a clothing brand and specialty coffee line with meaningful and inspiring messages behind it.
Websites:
www.RobynLovesCoffee.com
www.Stirring-Embers.com
www.BrewedGRIT.com
