Micah Cowan’s mother had only been pregnant with him for 10 weeks when he died in the womb in 2017. But the echoes of his life have carried on ever since, mainly through a Bend-based organization called I Am Seen. Alissa, his mom, created it in 2021.
Its goal? To bring recognition and comfort to those experiencing the silent grief of losing a child from miscarriage, stillbirth, early infant death or abortion through care packages. I Am Seen volunteers hand-pack each box with grief support items, including local soaps and candles, a Bible, a topical book, a handkerchief, a poem Cowan wrote and a wooden sign. So far, the team has handed out or mailed more than 500 boxes to 65 cities in 27 states and two countries, all free of charge for recipients.
“We just shipped to Trinidad and Tobago and have boxes going out to Africa soon,” says Cowan, a homemaker currently raising seven children. “We’re excited to get them in the hands of the people.”
That’s because Cowan remembers the overwhelming feelings of sadness, loneliness and isolation after losing Micah, her fourth child.
“You’re pregnant one minute and not pregnant the next. And what do you do with that?” Cowan says. “Even the people in our closer circles didn’t want to talk about it. It was just devastating and very lonely.”
Though she initially felt nothing but numbness, the grief eventually hit a year or two after Micah’s death. Baby showers suddenly became unbearable. Cowan’s sister also miscarried shortly after, deepening the sense of loss.
But then the sisters attended a candlelight vigil together in Nevada, commemorating lost children. “It felt like putting a stake in the ground,” Cowan remembers. “It was the first time somebody sat with us and said, ‘Your baby is worth remembering.’”
We need something like this in Central Oregon, Cowan thought. She reached out to the Bend Pregnancy Resource Center, which helped her get I Am Seen off the ground. Even though Cowan’s nonprofit is now completely running on its own, the nearby PRC “has been an encouraging support the whole way,” she says.
On its first packing day, volunteers stuffed over 300 boxes. Around 400 more are ready to go now, with some being mailed and others given to counseling centers, schools and healthcare organizations to pass on to clients. Those include women who have had abortions, including an I Am Seen board member.
Cowan has seen firsthand how many post-abortive women regret their choice to end their unborn child’s life. These women, she says, still need a chance to grieve their lost sons and daughters and validate their short lives.
“It’s been a beautiful ministry that I didn’t realize would be a part of I Am Seen,” Cowan says. “When we started this, we didn’t know the reach it would extend to. I just keep saying, ‘Lord, take it where you want it to go.’”
Right now, it’s going toward more boxes, which cost $48 for materials and shipping, and growing I Am Seen’s online support group on Facebook. Cowan doesn’t want any mother — no matter how she lost her baby — to feel that her child’s life was invisible or worthless.
“The baby isn’t here anymore, but the person who was affected by that life is still here,” she says. “A lot of them are broken and shattered, lonely and feel isolated, like no one can relate.”
“So we’re here to stand with the living and say that your story matters, and your child or children matter.”
For more information on I Am Seen, including donating or requesting a box for yourself or someone you know, visit iamseen.org.
