Oregon Right to Life Facebook fan Mary F. recently tagged our page (facebook.com/ortlfb) in her own post after Lovejoy Surgicenter, a Portland abortion clinic, closed. Mary and her daughter Faith recently celebrated Faith’s first communion in May. Mary’s testimony has been edited for length and clarity.
Nine years and some months ago, I walked into [Lovejoy Surgicenter]. I had a tiny little baby growing inside me. I had to wake up around five in the morning to be on the road to Portland for my appointment.
I had been against abortion my whole life. But then I found myself in a situation I had put myself in, and I felt so alone and desperate. Because I was supposed to have a “procedure” done, I couldn’t eat anything after a certain time the night before. I was in the thick of morning sickness, so not eating meant a likelihood of feeling nauseated. Which I did, all morning.
The whole drive to Portland, before the sun had even come up, [we] had to pull over several times for me to vomit. I resorted to using a cup so we wouldn’t be late for the appointment. I was so torn leading up to the day. I knew it was wrong with every fiber of my being. But I also didn’t know what else to do. My brother Nathan confronted me to ask if I was pregnant. He could tell by the way I started holding my belly, unbeknownst to me. I lied and insisted I wasn’t and that I was fine. He proceeded to tell me to not get rid of it. It’s like he had this intuition and knew what was going on.
We finally arrived at the clinic and I threw up again before checking in. When I had finished the paperwork, the lady at the front desk said there was an issue with my insurance, and it would probably be awhile. So we sat down. I felt more sick than I ever had in my whole life.
I went outside with Daniel again to throw up whatever was left in me. I felt this intense need to get out of there. I couldn’t go back in. Was God trying to make me come to my senses when something randomly went wrong with the insurance? I told Daniel we had to go. Maybe the evil I was about to be a part of was making me physically ill. So many thoughts running through my head, but I KNEW I couldn’t go through with it.
I didn’t know how I would raise a child with no job or car, nothing to my name or Daniel’s. But I knew I HAD to leave. When I saw the picture [of Lovejoy closing] in my feed, I felt absolute joy. That “for sale” sign on that building is such a beautiful sight.
How many women will choose life because that clinic’s doors are no longer open? I pray for them daily. I pray for the ones who already went through with it out of desperation. If I could say anything to a woman in a situation similar to my own, have FAITH. Faith in yourself, faith in God, faith in your community that will welcome this new life. “Faith” means so much to me, and that’s why I chose that name for the innocent little child inside me.
